You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
