we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
