I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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