I can't watch pbs sober anymore
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
