found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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