what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
