I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
