fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
