He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This house was built for laser tag.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
