when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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