I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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