She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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