so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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