she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
