i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
