It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
