the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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