hell yes lets make some ravioli
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
