Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
