During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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