I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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