i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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