I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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