and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
