I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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