4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize