y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
