My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
