He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So much Jack, so little girl.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
