just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
