We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she smelled like a LAN party
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
