dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
