And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
