I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This house was built for laser tag.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
