My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
