plz talk dirty to me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
