R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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