I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
