There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
