who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
no you cant smoke seaweed
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
