I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
