Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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