sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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