How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
