i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
