You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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