When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
