Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize