i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
