my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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