What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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