only you would photoshop your dick
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize