You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am available for nakedness
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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