I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
