he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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