I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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