I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
