I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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