Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
