It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
