Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
