she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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