Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
