Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
