even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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