and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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