uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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